There’s no doubt that getting married is one of the biggest decisions you will ever make in your life. It’s a serious commitment that requires a lot of work and compromise.
You should do the following 8 things before walking down the aisle: 1. Figure yourself out. This includes pruning your crutches and delusions.
1. Know What You Want
No matter how long you’ve been in a relationship, getting married is a big step. That means you need to be sure you’re ready. The right conversations can help you find out if you are.
Commitment is important in any marriage. Make sure you genuinely love your partner and that they love you for who you are.
It’s also a good idea to meet your future spouse’s family. That way you can pick up on any red flags and get a feel for their family dynamics.
2. Know What You Don’t Want
Even the most compatible couples encounter disagreements, misunderstandings and problems in marriage. Being prepared to deal with these issues is one of the keys to a happy and long-lasting marriage.
It is also important to know what you don’t want from your future spouse. Everyone has that relationship they’re not proud of — the one where they took someone for granted, fought all the time, and generally treated them like crap. Talk about those things before you get married.
3. Talk About Sex
Sex is a big part of marriage, but it’s also a difficult topic to talk about. It’s important for couples to have a healthy sex life, and that starts with having open, honest conversations about their needs and desires.
It’s important to start these conversations slowly, choosing a neutral place and time where you won’t be interrupted. You can also consider pre-marital counseling to help you feel comfortable discussing your sexual desires. Be sensitive to your partner’s feelings and avoid blaming or criticizing.
4. Talk About Money
While many couples discuss finances on a regular basis, it’s important to have open discussions before marriage to ensure both partners are on the same page. This can help avoid surprises and disagreements down the road.
This could include discussing how each of you was raised and how your parents’ relationship with money influenced your expectations for your own future together. It can also include identifying short- and long-term goals, like buying a home or saving for retirement.
5. Talk About Children
Having kids is an important factor in a happy marriage, and it’s good to make sure you and your partner are on the same page about this. This includes talking about how many kids you want and what your plans are for the future.
You also should talk about family — what kind of relationship you both envision, and what your deal-breakers are. That way, if any issues arise down the line, you’ll know what to expect.
6. Talk About Your Relationships
Cliche as it sounds, a marriage is one of the biggest decisions that you will ever make in your life. It’s a big commitment and it’s important that you know that you can handle it before you take the plunge.
Even the happiest couples have arguments and misunderstandings from time to time. It’s essential that you talk about how you and your partner handle them. Especially since you will both be bringing your families into it someday.
7. Talk About Your Family
More and more couples are choosing to live together before they get married. This is a great way to learn the good, bad and ugly about your future spouse (their weird habits, cleanliness, morning routine) and test whether you are domestically compatible.
It’s also a great time to talk about your family plans and decide if you want children. It’s important to know where your partner stands on this issue because it can be a real deal-breaker if they don’t want kids.
8. Talk About Your Future
It’s important to talk about your future plans with your partner. Maybe one of you wants to travel the world, and the other would prefer to move to a secluded village in retirement. This needs to be established early on to avoid any surprises later on.
Make sure you’ve figured out how to communicate effectively with your partner before you marry them. Many marriages fail because of misunderstandings or ineffective communication. It’s also crucial that both partners are prepared to compromise, especially in the event of a disagreement.
